


The Present is Not a Future

by writerlady



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 18:53:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11296710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerlady/pseuds/writerlady
Summary: KillerVibe Week: Day Six - FutureCisco's looking for his future but Cindy has already found it. And it's not her. Today she has to tell him.





	The Present is Not a Future

KillerVibe Week: Day Six - Future

She sat in the middle of his bed, wrapped in his softest blanket. The light of his television flickered in the dark room but she was just staring at the screen. He’d be home soon, with a bag of fried rice from that place she’s obsessed with around the corner in one hand and a long-stemmed flower in the other. He used to bring home bouquets because he had said a woman like her deserved flowers every day, but that got expensive and she knew he’d occasionally take a bundle to Iris too.

She wanted to smile, but she couldn’t. The day had come sooner than she would’ve liked and it was time to bring up what she still didn’t want to be true: That she wasn’t his future, even if he didn’t know it yet.

Cindy tossed the blanket off her shoulders and stood up from the bed. Her hair was a mess gathered into a worse mess at the top of her head and his shorts kept falling off her hips. She made her way to the edge of the couch before falling backward onto it. The cotton fabric of his favorite shirt felt cozy against her skin but it did nothing to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling in her gut. Today she’d have to tell Cisco that she knew what he had been looking for. _Who he had been looking for._

She finally had noticed it. Whenever they were walking down the street or grabbing dinner or people watching from his balcony, the way he would pause and scan the crowd when anyone with platinum waves or chestnut cascades of shoulder-length hair was near. She heard the sharp intake of breath, the flicker of hope in his eyes, and the inevitable look of loss and despair when the person wasn’t the person he always seemed to be looking for.

She’d always ask if he were okay and he’d mumble something at the ground and clench his free hand at his side. He’d shake his head; shake away his thoughts, and then smile at her lovingly and kiss her gently on the forehead.

“Everything’s okay when I’m with you,” or some cheesy line like it would roll off his tongue as he threw his arm around her shoulder and clutched her at his side.

She had asked Julian about it one time, when he was in STAR labs reading over NMR spectroscopy outputs.

“Julian, I’m going to ask you a question. And I want an answer.”

“Straight to the point,” he said in that condescending imperialist British accent. He put down his papers and turned to face her. “Cynthia, correct?”

She narrowed her brows and crossed her arms as she leaned back against a table.

“I’ve been on this Earth for three months and you don’t know my name?” she asked, skeptical.

He mimicked her posture against the lab counter. “We don’t speak much. I don’t mind it.”

“Fair,” she nodded, pressing away from the table. “But I still have my question.”

He waved his hand for her to continue. She loosened her arms, dropping one to her side, and gazed down at the floor.

“That ice queen woman. Caitlin…” She sucked a breath in through her nostrils then lifted her head to look him straight in the eyes. “Were you the only one to love her?”

Julian shifted his jaw and tightened his arms against his chest.

“We all loved Caitlin.”

“That’s not what,” she began softly. Too softly for her liking so she cleared her throat and stood taller before speaking again. “That’s not what I mean.”

Julian dropped his arms at his sides and spun around so his back was toward her. The room was silent, but Cindy could hear the drumming of her heart against her ears. Her eyes stung a bit but she clenched her fist as if she were daring herself to cry.

“I’m already late for an appointment, Julian. Just give me my answer so I can…”

“I didn’t want there to be,” he said, interrupting her. He busied his hands with sticking vials on the drying rack. “I didn’t care because I loved her. And she wasn’t with him.” He gathered his papers into a beige folder. “Now, if you’ll excuse me I have work to do.”

He moved past her, nearly bumping into her shoulder, but paused at the door.

“If you choose to care, that’s your choice. But if you have to ask strangers questions that you know the answer to, I’d advise against it,” he said over his shoulder before disappearing down the hall.

Cindy twisted on the couch, swiping at a tear with the hem of his shirt. She jumped up and ran for the bathroom. She splashed cold water on her face until her breathing steadied.

By the time Cisco returned home, she had every light on in the apartment. The television was blaring some local news station and music from his stereo played in his kitchen.

“Do they not have electric bills on your Earth,” he said with a grin. He crossed the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her waist. “You look cute.”

She had changed into tight-fitting jeans and a black tank. Her hair was conditioned and pulled back into a neat ponytail.

“I know,” she said, pulling back from his hug. She turned down the stereo, moving a photo from on top of it in the process. She stuck the frame on the kitchen table as if it was of no importance to her then moved around him to the cabinets.

“I smell something tastier than you,” she said, her voice in its usual relaxed and teasing tone.

But she wasn’t relaxed. She was watching him. With most of his back to her, she could still catch his gaze on the picture of Caitlin. She saw the way his entire body tensed up. She felt how all his happy energy turned to sadness. He lifted his hand to the frame, grazing his fingertips across the top before snatching it up and placing it face down on the stereo. He faced her and caught her staring at him.

She saw the flicker of guilt across his face and her own sadness started to swell inside of her.

“Babe, I love you,” he said.

“Cisco,” she said, reaching her hand out to his cheek. “It’s okay.”

He grabbed her face and kissed her deeply and she didn’t even try to hold her tears back because he had been the one person she could let her guard down with.

“I love you,” he said again, but it sounded more like a plea for forgiveness than a declaration of love unattached to anyone but her.

Her eyes shifted back and forth as she looked deeply into his, searching for something that’d help her tell him the truth. She found honesty and loyalty in his eyes and it was enough for her to be willing to give him the same.

“You’re looking for her,” she said. “When we’re out there. When we’re in here. You’re searching for her. Cisco, you’re in love with Caitlin.”

“No, I’m in love with you,” he said, rubbing his thumb against her cheek, brushing a tear away.

“Today, you’re in love with me. But I’ve loved a love like you have for her before. My partner that Abra Kadabra killed,” her voice choked a little and he put an arm around her waist to hold her closer. “I can’t stay here.”

He let her cry into his shoulder as he rubbed her back. They stood in the kitchen with the lights shining all around them until the rice was past cold. She stepped back once her tears and his tears had dried.

“You’re looking for her,” she said.

He opened his mouth to refute her but she shook her head. “Never lie to me,” she said.

He closed his mouth and his eyes watered up again. He nodded silently and hugged his arms around his waist, taking the smallest step back from her.

She noticed.

“Cisco, you’ve been everything to me these last few months, and I never thought I’d feel this way again. You’re special, and I’m not just saying that because we’re connected.” She brushed his hair behind his ear and said, “Because we are connected.” She folded her lips and took a breath before continuing. “And because I know how special you are, I know she’ll come back for you.”

“She told me to let her go,” he said. His voice was hoarse and above a whisper.

She gave him a sad smile. “You didn’t.”

Before he could say anything else, she grabbed a duffel bag from the kitchen table and tore a breach into the universe.

“Have a good future, Cisco.”

And she was gone. And he didn’t follow.


End file.
